I rarely look back or think about how far I have come. I am more embarrassed about where I was than I proud of where I am now. I need to reverse that logic. I have a lot to be proud of. So, I am going to try to construct a time line of events over the last few years, some of this is from my faulty memory, some from race dates I can find on line....here we go.
January 2012 - Health screening at work. My numbers suck. I am fat. I am out of shape. All my numbers suck - blood pressure, cholesterol, cardiac risk, etc. Am assigned to a health coach - have my first phone call with her. I am 47. I weigh more than I ever have. I need to lose about 40 pounds. I have been smoking for over 30 years. I eat candy every single day - like theater size boxes of candy, have been eating candy every day for over 40 years. I snore like a train. I take tums daily. I eat crap. I drink way too much.
March 2012 - Health coach has convinced me to get off my ass. I join a boot camp class. I suck at class and I am horrified at how badly I suck. I can hardly recognize myself. It took every single thing I had not to come in last in all the drills. Last. WTF? Health coach has convinced me to eat one serving of vegetables a day, I don't have to take anything away, just add the vegetable.
April 2012 - I continue with boot camp several times a week. I am getting better at it. Still disgusted with myself. I am depressed and probably have been for a long time. The exercise is helping. I am up to 2 vegetables a day.
May 2012 - Still in boot camp but it ends and I join the YMCA. I start walking TO the YMCA, working out and walking back to my car - at least a mile each way. I am losing some weight and I feel better.
June 2012 - I get a fitbit. I start logging all my food. I am religious about logging everything that goes in my mouth. I join in with other fitbit users online and we compete - I kick most of their asses in the number of steps most days. I love it. I give up candy. I give up all sugar unless it is in fruit or Captain Morgan but no candy, cakes, brownies, pies, cookies, etc.
July 2012 - I am losing a lot of weight. I continue talking with the health coach, logging my food and moving my ass. I am walking, lifting weights and doing yoga. I do not give into any food temptations.
September 2012 - I have lost about 25 pounds. I have a 30 year class reunion. I have a blast. I am happy with me. I keep going. And I am still smoking.
January 2013 - I have lost a little over 40 pounds. I have not touched sugar since I gave it up. I have hired the health coach privately now, she is not provided through work anymore. I love her and feel completely indebted to her. I am still logging all my food, making smarter choices and working out. I decide to stop smoking, So I do.
May 2013 - I am still going strong. I decide to run a half marathon. I have never even raced a 10k. Haven't even raced a 5k since I was in my 20's. Screw it, I am signed up for a half marathon in September. It never enters my mind this training is going to be HOT. I google what I should do to prepare, I put a plan together and I do it. I have no clue what I am doing but I am too clueless to know I am clueless.
June 2013 - 1 year to the day, my Fitbit breaks. I do not replace it. I believe I can do this on my own. And I do.
September 2013 - I do it. I finish the half marathon. I fuel only on water and a few raisins. I am afraid of getting fat so I do not fuel properly during the race. I get second in my age group. I am hooked. My time is 2:19. I sign up for another race.
November 2013 - I run the McKinney Mini Half marathon. My time is 2:11. (I still know nothing about fueling. When I think about that I am just amazed at what I did, that I made it). I sign up for a Turkey Trot 5K, my first Turkey Trot. My parents and husband think I am nuts. there are thousands of people, no exaggeration. My time is 27:42. I never ran a 5K that fast in my life. Of course in my younger days I ran them hungover, but oh well. I sign up for the Cowtown Half Marathon, it is in February.
January 2014 - Annual health screening at work. My numbers are all pretty good. I am still doing all the same things - talking to my health coach, haven't smoked for a year, no sugar, eating well, exercising, etc. but I have a terrific fear of gaining weight and no matter what the scale says I feel shame. I don't know what a "good" weight is. I know what size clothes I like to wear, and I do, but that scale number has f'd me up my entire life, no matter what it says. I am tired of trying on my own to get over this shame - I go to a psychotherapist. She's a little bitchy. I like her.
February 2014 - I run the Cowtown half, still no clue on fueling. Just water and raisins. I love this race more than the others. So many people. So much crowd support. My time is 2:09. I am still eating well, talking to my health coach, not smoking, and no sugar. I am pretty happy with myself. I need a bigger challenge but I don't know what that is going to be yet. I sign up for another half in April. Still seeing the psychotherapist.
April 2014 - I read a book called "Brooks First Marathon". I put my name in the lottery for the Chicago marathon. I get in! I also write my "story" and send it to Brook. My "story" runs on Brooks First Marathon FB page, I have a half marathon the next day. None of my family saw the story, thank GOODNESS. The only person that calls me about the story is an old boss. She only ran one marathon and it was Chicago. The half marathon kicks my ass, the combo of stress over the story, getting into Chicago, heat, humidity, hills, water and raisins were almost more than my body could take - I was a contorted mess after this race. My time was 2:13. I am on a table after the race and they are trying to get me to stop cramping up. I can not walk without cramping. I am 5 hours from home. I do not know a soul at this race.
May 2014 - The psychotherapist introduces me to tapping. I start doing it everyday at lunch time. It really seems to be helping with the shame I have around the numbers on the scale. I love this new tool.
June 2014 - I start marathon training with Luke's Locker. I love it. I start learning about fueling on a run. I part ways with the psychotherapist. I love her and I will miss her.
July 2014 - I join an online group "Inner Circle" from Brooks First Marathon FB page.
August 2014 - I start having what I think are IT band issues but it turns out it is BUT is is all related to hydration with me. I am introduced to and start taking SaltStick capsules when I work out. I stop cramping up and the IT issues stop.
September 2014 - I run my first ever 15K. Hot as Hell. My time is 1:25. I run a half marathon in Dallas - time is 2:04. I am fine with that time because I was not racing - its too close to Chicago to really race.
October 2014 - Chicago! I meet up with several ladies from the "inner circle" group. I get pointers from some of them about things I would not know to do in the marathon otherwise. It is so nice to meet these ladies in person after talking for several months on line. I chat with several from my running group at home. My husband is here. I am not really nervous and I have no doubt I can do this marathon. I just want to do it. I try to take in as much of it as I can. I love it. All of it. I want to bottle the feeling I have when it is done. I wait maybe a week before signing up for the Dallas Marathon in December.
November 2014 -My first ever 10K. I place 2nd in my age group, 5th female. My time is 50:32. I got passed at the end of this race, I learn not to slow down before the race is over just because everyone in front of me has crossed the finish line. Thanksgiving day 5K run - first in my age group, pace is 8:12.
December 2014 - Another first in my age group in a 5K, pace is 8:02. Then come the Dallas Marathon. Stabbing pain in my heel right before mile 13. I do not finish. I don't like the fact that I am a DNF but I don't kick my own ass over it either and THAT is major progress for me on many many levels. I start swimming, biking, weights and yoga because I can not run.
January 2015 - I will reach a 2 year anniversary of when I quit smoking this month. I still have not touched sugar. I have my annual health screening at work. My numbers freaking rock. My heel is still jacked up with plantar fasciitis. I sign up for a Sprint Tri in March. I need a bike and I need to learn to swim better. I sign up and pay for swim lessons at the YMCA. They are a disorganized cluster. They are fired but they don't know it yet. I am meeting with a highly recommended TRI coach. Things have a way of working out. I still talk to my health coach. We are friends now.
I have come a long way.
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